I feel like I've been neglectful. I apologize.

It's been a few days since my  last post, it feels like way too long.

Unfortunately there have been a series of circumstances beyond my control topped with some family issues that have kept me away and utterly occupied my photographer. Life has a way of doing that to people, though, doesn't it?

So, here I am with no photos to share and nothing particularly Thrifty or Fat or Closet related. I do, however, have something to say about the coming holiday season.

Thanksgiving is a few short days away and all I feel is sadness and anxiety about it. Where have all of the thankful elements of Thanksgiving gone? And how can I get it back? This is something  I have been giving a lot of thought. I started kinda where I started this paragraph: sadness and anxiety.

The sadness is from all of the people who wont be there because they just aren't here anymore, aren't anywhere anymore. There is a lingering ache in me that feels especially hollow and needy this time of year. I long to feel my grandma's hugs and taste her holiday yummies. The holidays just haven't been the same since I lost her and I don't know if it's because she's not here anymore or because I kinda checked out of the whole thing since she passed. Either way, I think I am now ready to feel whole again. It's not something that comes readily.

Ever notice themes popping up, right when you need to learn a lesson; when you're ready? Mindfulness. That is my theme du jour. Thinking and honoring what is happening while it's happening. Mindfulness. I can recognize, right now in my life, how much I really have. Right here, right now. That I can miss my grandma and not let that feeling negate the love I have for my sisters and their families, my grandpa, my friends, and everyone else that means so much to me.

Then there's the whole anxiety portion of the above equation.

Two words: Food Addiction.

Five short days from now the nation will belly up to tables (or TV trays, depending where in the country you're located) and eat until they have to unbutton their trousers and then cram some more in.

What the fuck am I gonna do?

So, I think I'm kinda clever. I spent a large portion of today preping some serious 'from scratch' holiday foodstuffs. Making sprouted grain stuffing cubes, roasting pumpkin and butternut squash, slow cooking lentils for a potential lentil loaf type situation.

Five short days from now we will know just how clever and mindful I am in real life.

 I promise I will post something pretty very soon.